Do you remember a time before credit was freely available? A time without IKEA? A time when people would (quite often but not always) make things for themselves instead of buying them?

Does it feel that long ago? Perhaps just 12 or 15 years or so, cheaper clothes and furnishings were only just entering the UK marketplace.

What were you doing then? I was finishing school, starting Uni and actually clubbing (now that feels a long time ago).

For the purpose of this post however, that time doesn't feel that long ago, although so much has changed since. We can buy THINGS to suit our homes, lifestyle and interiors relatively easily and cheaply.

However, what about the special things, things of enormous sentimental value? Are we likely to hold onto bought 'things' as much as we are own-made? 

My mum recently gave me these beautiful napkins, embroidered by my grandmother* about 80 years ago. 80 years! I cannot imagine store bought napkins being kept and treasured for that long.

In 80 years, will my grandchildren say; 

"Granny bought these out of Asda when she was just 22! A pack of six for just £3 - just look at the detailing..."

Possibly not.

Now, I'm not a Crafter. I'm really not - as mentioned in a previous post, I just don't have enough perfectionism in me to be impressed with what I make.

Having said that, what makes these napkins even more special is that my grandmother made them before entering the competitive, creative world of the WI. Consequently, they are not as 'perfect' as her later creations. 

The tiny imperfections make the napkins seem more real in some regard - something that I will bear in mind when trying to make something which turns out a little (ahem) less than perfect.

Will it be worth the effort, considerable swearing and moodiness? Who knows, yet.

I will try though. There is something so very lovely about having something that someone of importance to you has made. It can't really be said the same for Asda napkins, can it?

Watch this space. Or come back in a few weeks to see some properly paltry evidence of crafting.


*My grandmother passed away 10 years ago this year, and was very curious about what the internet was for and what it could do. It pleases me greatly that her handiwork is now on it.

Something's been bothering me lately. 

Every January, the television becomes a buzz with this year's must do activity advertising. Detox post Christmas, diet post-Christmas, get a 'new (shaped) you' this new year.

Of course, it's an ad agency's best time of year to advertise their lifestyle products, when people are keen to make new year's resolutions and fresh starts.

What bothers me about them, is the cyclical nature of what the companies are offering. Dieting post Christmas? Sounds good until Easter comes. Then, there's always their diet plan to fall back on in the run up to summer holidays. What about then slimming down again to fit into your Christmas party dress?

It's not that I'm against people loosing weight and becoming healthier (that would just be silly) - it's the way it's marketed to us. 

What the cyclical campaign undermines, is a woman's innate 'awesomeness,' a concept championed by an American website - Pigtailpals. It's a view of feminity that the author hopes her own daughter will espouse, instead of the appearance-based, consumer-based feminity on offer in the media at the moment.

Broadly speaking, this view of feminity is based upon a belief that no matter what you look like at any given time, no matter what weight you are, you are actually pretty awesome. Awesomeness doesn't ebb and flow with the seasons (or more for that matter, advertising campaign schedules). but is constant. The trick is remembering that.

What bothers me most about these January 'Detox Lose Weight Become Incredibly Glamourous THIS YEAR' adverts is that it can undermine a woman's confidence and belief in her own 'awesomeness,'  possibly when she's feeling a little shaky, all in order for us to put our un-manicured hands in our purses.

As for feeling awesome, I hope you are if you're reading this. Just look at what you have done, and what your body can do. Pretty awesome, no? The best bit - you already have it, you'll always have it and it's totally free.

This week, I read an article in Real Parenting entitled 'Confessions of a Self Conscious Parent,' detailing a new mum's experiences of feeling that her parenting was being ‘watched’ and often judged by others.

This rang a few bells for me. From being told by a woman in a supermarket to put a soother in my 3 week old baby’s mouth ‘rather than have him suffer’ to being asked whether I my breastfed baby was ‘on the bottle yet,’ I can recall quite a few occasions when I have felt just the same.

Over the first year of our son's life, I have never had to learn so much in so little time. Over the past year, we have had to learn:

• How to breastfeed  (ouch) and overcome a plethora of nursing problems
  
• How to soothe
• How to wind a gassy baby
• How to bath baby
• How to clothe a baby in all seasons
• How to help a baby sleep on his own
• How to manage day to day on very little sleep (still trying to figure that one out)
• How to manage your hormones (who was I trying to kid?)
• How to wean to solids
• How to treat baby eczema
• How to deal with toddler tantrums 
• How to keep everyone happy at once (still working on that one).
• How to help a baby to learn to walk
• How to encourage a baby to talk

The list goes on….

Along with this list, comes the optional parenting books. Some encompass a whole year of a child’s life, whereas some focus on specific problems, issues or development stages.

Whereas useful to some degree, do they actually serve to undermine a new parent’s confidence, and worse, credibility amongst others?

I have been asked by an acquaintance about whether I had ‘bought the book’ on the particular weaning style I used to introduce my baby to solids, which I hadn’t. Did I need to? Had my credibility taken a knock in that particular person’s mind because I didn’t?

Whether it did or not, I felt self conscious. Should I have bought this book? I didn’t really see the point in doing so at the time, and still don’t. If I’d bought a book for every stage of our little boy’s babyhood, we’d be close to £100 poorer for it.

There are some parts to some books that I have found helpful, undoubtedly. 

What I’m concerned with is that there seems to be such a market for parenting advice, that it could serve to make new parents feel even more overwhelmed than they necessarily need to.

Is self conscious parenting fuelled by publishing houses and authors, looking to make money? Have you found parenting books useful, or a hinderance? I’d love to read your comments below.

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